A Y M A N A Y T E R

YOUNG DREAMER | TRUE BELIEVER


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You were there

You were there and all I could do was stare at you.

I want to know your name, get to know you, be friends with you, be with you. Isn’t it ridiculous? Because I know that someone like you will never ever get interested with someone like me – me who is just this.

Call me stupid for this infatuation, believing that you are the one, daydreaming and praying that you really are the one.  No. I don’t want to “fall for you” because I know this is just another fantasy of mine.

I want to end this foolishness. I want to forget the day you held the door for me and I got conscious that you didn’t hear me thanking you. Honestly, I don’t understand why I even got guilty that day.

I haven’t seen you for days, not even your shadow. I’m afraid you’ve left and looked for other jobs, perhaps that rainy day was the last time I’ll see you. 

I hate it because you aren’t there anymore yet all I can do is still think of you.


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If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the moment.

philosiblog

If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the moment. – Lao Tzu

What does that mean?
This quote is a favorite of mine, even if I can’t find a solid attribution (but lots of places say it’s his quote).

If we are focused on the past, we are probably depressed. We’re either comparing today to how good things used to be in the past, or we are second guessing decisions we made or actions we took some time ago.

If we are focused on the future, we are probably anxious. We’re either worried about how badly things could turn out, or we are worried that the decisions we made yesterday won’t help us as much as we might have hoped.

If we are focused on this moment, largely to the…

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BLESSED :)

We had our Staff Annual Activity last week and it was great SUPERB.

I was really overwhelmed because I rarely attend team buildings or outing with friends (me and my tragic life LOL). Anyway, I really felt that my officemates have become part of my life, that they have become my family.

I never imagined that this is the kind of work world that I’m gonna be in. When I was still studying, I imagined strict bosses, hard to get along officemates, a world that is so complex that you’ll end up crying every night. Hey, I was wrong, there’s still a wonderful work place for people and I judged the work world a little over the line.

I believe they see us (the newbies) as their own children; of course knowing the boundaries between work and usual conversations. They treat us with love and care, not just us, but our immediate families as well. The feeling of concern from them, the feeling that you can trust them because they will never let you down.

I don’t know how to swim and there they were (and I mean ALL of them in the pool), trying to teach me everything that I can learn. No, I never felt fear everytime I submerged myself because I know they will never allow something bad shall happen to me. Yes, I trust them and I really appreciate their parent-like attitude.

We are lucky blessed to be in this Department, I feel contented with where I am right now. I was introduced to persons that will not destroy myself, hence strengthen me especially spiritually. If given the chance, I would like to stay here as long as they tell me to stay.

My searching-for-job time was crucial but I never thought that this is God’s way of telling me that He really has plans for me and I must trust Him. I am really blessed, blessed to meet these awesome people. Thank God for this job, Thank God for this family. Indeed, You are the best! 🙂


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Why You Can’t Let Go

“think back on an instance where you were in the throes of depression or anxiety, and couldn’t understand how or why your life was turning out the way it was. How did that situation turn out? Probably fine. Because that’s where we all eventually end up.”

Thought Catalog

You know what you’re holding onto. I know what I am. And I also know that there are many others that have, are, or will be, holding onto something as well. Sometimes it’s for a minute and sometimes it can last for years. Regardless, it’s debilitating. It’s paralyzing. It keeps you stuck in what could have been.

After we seek all the advice we can, it usually rounds out to the same thing: it’s time to let go and move on. If you’re anything like me, just reading that sentence made your heart sink a little and you’re filling up with resistance, shame and anger. You don’t want to let go. You want to hold on until you’re right. You want to hold on until the situation resolves itself the way you want it to.

Because what’s the alternative? You have to go on without that person or thing that…

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