A Y M A N A Y T E R

YOUNG DREAMER | TRUE BELIEVER


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Do not be in a hurry

I know, I know. I keep on saying that I’m not in a hurry to fall in love but something inside me contradicts everything that I say.

I had a chance to talk with my senior officemates about marriage during our lunch break and all I did was listen to them with awe as they try to impart their personal experiences and advices regarding this matter.

The bottomline of our conversation is, “don’t be in a hurry.” And I must say, they are right. But, I can’t take away the fact that the more I get older, the more batchmates of mine marry, the more I fear of being alone.

I know I’m still young but thinking of how fast time runs in early 20’s is indeed quite.. I don’t know (I can’t think of a word that best describes it). As I get older every year, my anxiety now exceeds the borderline.

All I know is I dream of having my own family – spouse-slash-bestfriend and children – and I am very eager to achieve it someday. And before I can attain it, I have to find myself and be better first for the “future family”.

I don’t want to be grow old alone, seriously.

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You were there

You were there and all I could do was stare at you.

I want to know your name, get to know you, be friends with you, be with you. Isn’t it ridiculous? Because I know that someone like you will never ever get interested with someone like me – me who is just this.

Call me stupid for this infatuation, believing that you are the one, daydreaming and praying that you really are the one.  No. I don’t want to “fall for you” because I know this is just another fantasy of mine.

I want to end this foolishness. I want to forget the day you held the door for me and I got conscious that you didn’t hear me thanking you. Honestly, I don’t understand why I even got guilty that day.

I haven’t seen you for days, not even your shadow. I’m afraid you’ve left and looked for other jobs, perhaps that rainy day was the last time I’ll see you. 

I hate it because you aren’t there anymore yet all I can do is still think of you.