A Y M A N A Y T E R

YOUNG DREAMER | TRUE BELIEVER


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VULNERABLE

It’s the same feeling I had years back. I hate recalling that issue because it brings me bad really bad memories. I’m starting to doubt myself, again, with what I can really do. It’s not insecurity. It’s just, I don’t trust myself anymore. No, it’s not their fault, it’s mine. I’m pulling myself down with something that shouldn’t be a big deal anyway. I hate this feeling. I hate it so badly.

I always thought that I’ve become tougher when it comes to life’s challenges but I guess I’m still the little girl who’s frail and weak. I’m a pretender, believing I have become a mature young lady but I’ve proven it all wrong. I’m still the fragile girl 10 years ago, not knowing how to deal with the tests served.

Confidence, when are you going to stay for real?

Sorry for this non-sense entry. It’s just that no one cares and no one notices my vulnerability.


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Giving up on “the dream”…

summitcitysingle

There are 24 hours in a day. We spend at least eight of those hours at work.

There are seven days in a week. We work at least 40 hours of that week, which leaves 128 hours away from work if you work the typical 9-5 job. Work makes up approximately 1/4 of your week. The other 3/4 are spent with friends, family, sleeping, eating, working out, and doing things we love. That is, if you aren’t too stressed out about how you spend that 40+ hours of your week at work.

1012552_business_world_4Are we supposed to be miserable at our jobs? Is finding the perfect career a lost cause? Is it a waste of time?

I used to believe in doing everything possible to find my perfect career, but my dream is fading… maybe we’re just supposed to go to work, suffer through it, come home and go on with life.

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LOST

I told myself I won’t treat this blog as my personal blog but I can’t help it especially at times when you don’t know how to react on things except through writing.

I’m a bit lost right now and I don’t know where and how to start. I’ve been suffering from writer’s block that leads to: do I deserve this position or maybe someone out there deserves this chair I’m currently sitting? 😦

Seriously, I don’t know how to explain my emotions right now. I want to cry, really, because I can’t decipher how am I going to deal with these data (which happened for the very first time). There were times that I asked myself whether being a writer (or journalist) is really for me. Maybe I wanted to become one but my skills just won’t fit.

My other problem is that my faith is a bit shaky lately, so tell me how will I be able to survive if I’m spiritually weak? Oh no. I just don’t know.

Aside from that, there are a lot of things that kept on bugging me, my dreams and the future. I really don’t know what His plans for me are but I want to trust Him. I once trusted Him, why not now? What a way to start my 2013 😐

I am wondering, where did the old ‘me’ ran off to? The happy-go-lucky school girl who believed she’s invincible.

Please forgive me, I just need to let this out.


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2013 Planner

Tadaa! Presenting my 2013 planner!

DSC00450First, I would like to share my “adventure” before I was able to acquire the 2013 Filed Doodle Planner. Yesterday, I went to Fully Booked branches in SM North and Trinoma but unfortunately, it was out of stock. I asked whether, by any chance, Gateway branch still has the planner but it’s the same as the other two. The staff told me that there’s still available in Katipunan branch… and deep inside, I was like “T_T </3”

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Imagine how disappointed I was when I learned that those three malls didn’t have stock anymore. Those are already out of my way (and I’m willing to go there HAHA) and going to Katipunan is really REALLY out of my way so I can’t afford to go there </3 Out of desperation, I texted my friend, Dan2, who studies within the area, asked if their classes have started because I’d asked her a favor to buy one for me. But she told me that their class will resume next week, and asked me if I can wait till then. So who am I to say no? I’m that DESPERATE lol. I told her that I’ll just inform her because I’d try again in N. Edsa and Trinoma the next day in case products have been delivered 😀

So. The next day…

I followed their twitter account, and asked when they’re going to restock in the aforementioned malls. They didn’t reply to my tweet but this appeared in my timeline:

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And I was like “I wanted to go there immediately!” It looks like is really in-demand, I believe 😉 So I went there with Ehm2. So there, I finally got a planner for 2013! 😀

HAHAHA Okay. Enough of storytelling. Now, I’ll tell you why I wanted this planner so badly despite its price (it costs 545 php, a bit expensive compared to some Pinoy-made planners):

1. Doodles

I’m really fond of doodling since it’s my stress reliever (okay, I admit, a hobby of mine as well HAHA). Unlike in other planners that are very plain and you’ll only see lines, Doodle planner has designs and drawings in its pages. You can color it, and even add designs if you want to. There are also pages allotted just for doodling 😉 cats

2. Special corner

There are pages for movies to watch, restaurants to try, books to read, places to visit and vision board! Look how convenient! Instead of writing it on some paper or notebook, you can write it down without misplacing it. Oh. There’s also a pouch (I don’t what it’s called) for anything you want to put in there – papers, receipts etc.

3. Physical Features

In my opinion, Doodle Planner is handy. It’s just 7”x 5” x 0.75”. Its cover is hard bound just like other planners but this seems to be lighter than the others. There’s also the page marker and a free pen bandolier 🙂

DSC00460Please forgive me. I’ve been a fanatic of planner since high school but it was only in college that I started to look for unique and cute planners ^_^

Planner, check! Colored pencils, you’re next!

Happy planning this 2013 everyone! 🙂

(A/N: Credits to my friend, Essen, for recommending this planner ;))


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Bye 2012, Hello 2013!

My 2012 has been a great year for me though it passed my life faster compared to other years. It was full of wonderful memories and realizations: bidding goodbye (maybe not forever) to school and saying hello to “real world”; saying ‘see you soon’ to blockmates-turned-siblings I’ve spent four years with and introducing myself completely to new people-turned-family in my very first job; disappointments and rejections that bothered me for several months but made me realize that those months were worth the wait; and challenges that led me to a stronger and wiser me.

So cheers to the first day of 2013! For the very first time, I’ve made a bucket list, inspired by one of our co-workers, and I’m now desperate to accomplish it. From now on, I will enjoy my youth and life itself but still knowing my priorities 😉

My wish in 2013? A more organized and disciplined me 🙂 Wishing everyone a HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR! May you all have a prosperous and healthy year! 🙂 God Bless! 😀

Lord, thank you for all the blessings you’ve showered upon us in the past year. It was indeed an awesome year, full of challenges and happiness. Hoping and praying that you’ll give us enough strength to endure everything You’re about to give us this 2013. I do believe in Your plans and I trust You. I know that You’ll not put us into harm. Again, Thank You, Lord! 🙂 #WithMuchLoveMe